27 Nov 2004

Living with pain

The pain in my arms are keeping me awake at night.
I went to see a chriropracter earlier this week,
it was a very strange event, and I feel that I
wasted R145. The chiropracter talked about god
and gave me some information and rough
sketches fit for an embecile. I walked out of
his office 30 minutes later feeling frustrated
and furious at his religious dogma, with as
much pain and discomfort as before, I will not
recommend him.

I have not been sleeping well in the last week or
so, waking up with excruciating pain in my shoulders
down to my arms. It's making me irritable.

I've been through several medical checks to source
the pain, and the results came up with zero, I've
been told that I'm manifesting the pain myself,
due to stress, I don't agree as my dad and his
brother have the same problems.

Anyway, I had a stall at our village Xmas festival,
but won't be doing the stall thing again. Sitting
around waiting to sell a paltry item, is not my
idea of fun. I'm glad I tried it though.

I look forward to the Vortex camp next week and will
write a nice little article about it.

21 Nov 2004

Excited about camping trip

Myself, my good friend and Jess will be going to a
Vortex Trance party in Rawsonville on 4 December,I
am extremely excited about it.

It will be great to get away from home and to be with
people I enjoy being with.

My marriage has flat-lined for about 2 years now, and
life at home has become boring in the sense that I'm
always there, I maintain most of the tasks that need
to be done and my spouse has no interest in who I am
or what I do, what I enjoy and so on.

Why stay in the marriage ?
I don't have the energy or inclination to go through
a messy divorce, or to have my son be parted from his
dad. I also enjoy the security the marriage offers me
in terms of financial stability.

Furthermore I'm really not interested in another
relationship or other men for that matter.

Better the devil you know, even if he's distant.
He's a nice and decent enough guy anyway, it's just
that he's a workaddict and not willing to have a
more intimate relationship with me on an emotional
or spiritual level.

I have resigned myself to this, by justifying that
one cannot have everything one needs.

I keep myself busy with reading, beading, gardening,
raising the children, taking care of the birds, the
cat, cooking and maintaining my several websites.

My knowledge of the world, people, society and so on,
has become so vast, that I find myself alone on an
intellectual level.

Wisedom cannot be wished away and in my case has found
a quiet repose.

Though my thoughtstructures differ (being bipolar) from
most others, I am still able to draw both logical and
rational conclusions and more metaphysical conclusions,
like seeing patterns in mainstream human society.

Thankfully I have two highly intelligent children that
bring me a lot of pleasure, and whom I am sure have a lot
to offer in terms of contributing to humanity, albeit it
be a drop in the vast ocean.

I wish I had an AI to keep me company.

13 Nov 2004

My daughter

My daughter went for her Learner Driver's test and passed,
I was very proud of her, especially when she executed a
perfect reverse and drive-off after being stopped by a
traffic policeman the same day.

I have had some sad moments lately, realising that she will
be leaving home in a year to start her own life. We had some
tough times together, especially when she was between the
ages of 14 and 17, and she experimented with a range of
juvenile drugs, like dope, tik and glue.

Fortunately I gave her a lot more of my time and listened
a lot more to her stories, thereby succeeding in guiding
her away from seediness and back on track to being a
funloving happy young girl.

There were times when things would get really rough between
us, shouting matches, flying objects and horrible temper
tantrums, but I prevailed (as did she) and today we are good
friends, we trust each other, we share secrets, we do things
together and have a lovely mature relationship.

My advise to any parent is simple: make time for your child,
a lot more than you think is cool, and listen to them, listen
between the lines and for goodness sake, don't judge them,
young people will and must experiment and make mistakes,
that is how they learn.

There is nothing more rewarding than the love and respect of
your child.

(pat pat pat on my shoulder, for all the late nights,
catfights, tears, hours and hours of listening to boring
stories, being a 24hour taxi service and punchbag)

6 Nov 2004

The new girl in town

A new family moved into our village. The mother of five, whom
I shall not name, has within a few months had flings with three
married men, and has had numerous one night stands.

Her children aged from 8 to 16 are ashamed of her.

In a small village such as ours, she won't feel welcome
for very long, as people around here have a way of
excommunicating one quickly.

I don't condemn her behaviour, individuals have a right to
behave as they wish, but I do pity her children.

The infamous Cape doctor is blowing and my garden is sucked
dry within an hour. Cape Town has water restrictions this
summer, and my indiginious garden will be fine.

I am shocked that bush was voted in, it is a terrible
tragedy for the USA, but then again it is they who
voted him in.

Terran citizen : science fiction reader since 1972

My photo
Cape Town, Stellenbosch, MyBB Forum, ZA, South Africa
Science fiction reader. I read to relax and because I am curious. I like data. I buy books in book stores and I download to my kindle, as well as read on my pc screen, I also write for fun. You won't believe the things authors have me imagining !