Living with pain

The pain in my arms are keeping me awake at night.
I went to see a chriropracter earlier this week,
it was a very strange event, and I feel that I
wasted R145. The chiropracter talked about god
and gave me some information and rough
sketches fit for an embecile. I walked out of
his office 30 minutes later feeling frustrated
and furious at his religious dogma, with as
much pain and discomfort as before, I will not
recommend him.

I have not been sleeping well in the last week or
so, waking up with excruciating pain in my shoulders
down to my arms. It's making me irritable.

I've been through several medical checks to source
the pain, and the results came up with zero, I've
been told that I'm manifesting the pain myself,
due to stress, I don't agree as my dad and his
brother have the same problems.

Anyway, I had a stall at our village Xmas festival,
but won't be doing the stall thing again. Sitting
around waiting to sell a paltry item, is not my
idea of fun. I'm glad I tried it though.

I look forward to the Vortex camp next week and will
write a nice little article about it.

Excited about camping trip

Myself, my good friend and Jess will be going to a
Vortex Trance party in Rawsonville on 4 December,I
am extremely excited about it.

It will be great to get away from home and to be with
people I enjoy being with.

My marriage has flat-lined for about 2 years now, and
life at home has become boring in the sense that I'm
always there, I maintain most of the tasks that need
to be done and my spouse has no interest in who I am
or what I do, what I enjoy and so on.

Why stay in the marriage ?
I don't have the energy or inclination to go through
a messy divorce, or to have my son be parted from his
dad. I also enjoy the security the marriage offers me
in terms of financial stability.

Furthermore I'm really not interested in another
relationship or other men for that matter.

Better the devil you know, even if he's distant.
He's a nice and decent enough guy anyway, it's just
that he's a workaddict and not willing to have a
more intimate relationship with me on an emotional
or spiritual level.

I have resigned myself to this, by justifying that
one cannot have everything one needs.

I keep myself busy with reading, beading, gardening,
raising the children, taking care of the birds, the
cat, cooking and maintaining my several websites.

My knowledge of the world, people, society and so on,
has become so vast, that I find myself alone on an
intellectual level.

Wisedom cannot be wished away and in my case has found
a quiet repose.

Though my thoughtstructures differ (being bipolar) from
most others, I am still able to draw both logical and
rational conclusions and more metaphysical conclusions,
like seeing patterns in mainstream human society.

Thankfully I have two highly intelligent children that
bring me a lot of pleasure, and whom I am sure have a lot
to offer in terms of contributing to humanity, albeit it
be a drop in the vast ocean.

I wish I had an AI to keep me company.

My daughter

My daughter went for her Learner Driver's test and passed,
I was very proud of her, especially when she executed a
perfect reverse and drive-off after being stopped by a
traffic policeman the same day.

I have had some sad moments lately, realising that she will
be leaving home in a year to start her own life. We had some
tough times together, especially when she was between the
ages of 14 and 17, and she experimented with a range of
juvenile drugs, like dope, tik and glue.

Fortunately I gave her a lot more of my time and listened
a lot more to her stories, thereby succeeding in guiding
her away from seediness and back on track to being a
funloving happy young girl.

There were times when things would get really rough between
us, shouting matches, flying objects and horrible temper
tantrums, but I prevailed (as did she) and today we are good
friends, we trust each other, we share secrets, we do things
together and have a lovely mature relationship.

My advise to any parent is simple: make time for your child,
a lot more than you think is cool, and listen to them, listen
between the lines and for goodness sake, don't judge them,
young people will and must experiment and make mistakes,
that is how they learn.

There is nothing more rewarding than the love and respect of
your child.

(pat pat pat on my shoulder, for all the late nights,
catfights, tears, hours and hours of listening to boring
stories, being a 24hour taxi service and punchbag)

The new girl in town

A new family moved into our village. The mother of five, whom
I shall not name, has within a few months had flings with three
married men, and has had numerous one night stands.

Her children aged from 8 to 16 are ashamed of her.

In a small village such as ours, she won't feel welcome
for very long, as people around here have a way of
excommunicating one quickly.

I don't condemn her behaviour, individuals have a right to
behave as they wish, but I do pity her children.

The infamous Cape doctor is blowing and my garden is sucked
dry within an hour. Cape Town has water restrictions this
summer, and my indiginious garden will be fine.

I am shocked that bush was voted in, it is a terrible
tragedy for the USA, but then again it is they who
voted him in.

stringing beads

The old year is rushing by and it's that mad time of the year.

It was a beautiful day in Cape Town today, Jes and I went to Beads
for Africa in Longstreet. We had a pub lunch and stopped for feathers at Bayside.

I enjoy stringing the beads,each string is unique and it's
very rewarding.

My good friend came to visit and we had a lovely day, eating,
chatting and relaxing together. We see each other about once
every 8 weeks, so it's always an occasion !

bicycle accident

Tron and JJ went up the hill with their mountainbikes and raced
down the dirt road, Tron hit a hole and went crashing down with
his head first. He was unconscious for a while and then JJ turned
back and got him up. He regained consciousness and tried to call
me on his cell, but couldn't work his cell correctly, so they walked
home.

He arrived home in a terrible state, the left hand side of his face
was all grazed away and several places all over his body too.
He was in shock, and could not function normally. He was taken
the doctor and had his wounds treated and received medication
for shock and concussion.

It's a few hours later, and Tron is fine, his memory is returning, but
he still can't remember falling off his bike.

His head and body hurts, but he'll be fine.

Stormy weather

The storm that hit Cape Town early in October 2004,
was quite vicious. Sheets of rain and destructive winds
forced me to climb into the large old pepper tree to
retrieve my two pet chickens from their petrified
clinging to the branch.

So there I was in the height of the storm climbing
into the tree, sailing the branches on my tummy so
to speak, with a large plastic bag in hand, I deftly
got the two chickens into the bag and passed it
down to Jan, then sailed back down the branches,
soaked and scratched with a hurt back.

I was Jess's hero and I slept much better for it too.

incapable lifeform

like the old philosophers
we sit around thinking
our heart beats ununified

unknowingly we strangle
the strange creative
confirming laws
long of no use

we yearn for freedom
and it dwells in our heads
in our bodies, the universe
yet we grasp it not

laughter echos hollow
through the spirals of time
tears evaporate
as if they never existed

whilst we sit and think
atoms move, matter expands
our mind and time
withering senile

in our petty consciousness
our nano moment of life
we achieve nothing
our purpose null

aah, but still, to live
is a marvel unsurpassed
an explosion of brilliance
so very bright

the textures of life
mutating in varience
anything is possible
we are frozen, astonished
disabled to alternate dimensions

understanding glimmering faintly
that no one thing stands alone
and that around here
all is one

astonishing
delightful universe

poem by myself
*Vyg Fynbos 1998

Natural Beauty

Whilst visiting my mom and dad in the african bush near the Crocodile River opposite the Kruger National Park in Southern Africa, I encountered a profusion of wild life. Giraffes, large
lizards, crocodiles, kudu, impala and rooibok antelope, wild bush pigs, and zebras.

During my stay there were two armed robberies in the nearby vicinity. A gang of seven men armed with Ak47's held up two seperate groups of people who were enjoying an afternoon braai (barbecue).

This is not unusual and fortunately the gang did not shoot anyone, but only robbed them of everything that had value, including food and beverages.

Flower festival rain

how strange the rain, so needed and so despised when not
timeous.

the flower festival will be rained out again this spring.

weather patterns have actually changed more dramatically
than is realised by the larger and *ignorant society.

ignorance in modern society today has become an epidemic.

Watching nature

It is apparent that global weather change is in effect around the southern tip of Africa.
Some of the trees are budding and last year's leaves have not all fallen yet.

Blue Monday

After reading the newspapers, I as per usual, fell into a gloomy mood,
considering all the horrifying murder, mayhem and rape here in
South Africa.

It is not easy being an educated civilised person in a country as violent
as this one.

I've been here for 37 years now, and I don't see it getting any better.
Africa is for Africans, not for any else.

Anticipating a book

After finishing Peter.F.Hamilton's 'Pandora's Star' I was irked to see it was a series, with Ozzie
tumbling over a giant waterfall, which is obviousely another Silfen path. I look forward to the
continued event.